Jesus truly understands

Oh, what a beautiful morning and what a lovely day it is going to be!  This is the day that the Lord has made!  Let us rejoice and be glad in it!   It is still unfamiliar territory for me to think about Jesus’ life here on earth.  To think that He could possibly know how it feels to have rage build up inside and want to take it out on everyone around.  Or how it feels to want to drown the stresses of the day with alcohol or drugs.  How could Jesus, my Savior, know what it means to want to feel loved so badly that he would have been tempted to act upon those feelings with a woman?  It boggles my mind to really, fully, digest that concept that no matter what pains, desires, or addictions, I have ever felt in my life, (even those I’ve not felt yet,) Jesus has already experienced them, and worse, and He understands.  Because He understands, He is able to deal with me gently on these issues.  He’s not waiting with gavel in hand, ready to smack me down when I am not strong enough to stand against my temptations, He’s holding his hand out to me and whispering, “We can get through this together.”   The Bible says that we, the church, are the body of Christ.  There’s a song by Casting Crowns that says …..But if we are the body
Why aren’t His arms reaching?
Why aren’t His hands healing?
Why aren’t His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren’t His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them there is a way?
There is a way There is a way girls.  Let Jesus reach out to you through the hands of a fellow 12 Stepper.  Let Jesus reach out through you to a fellow 12 Stepper.  It doesn’t matter where you’ve been, who you are, what you’ve done, who did what to you, what you’ve felt, who you’ve hurt.  Jesus is holding His hand out to you and He’s whispering, “I’m here, I know, I’ve been there, I understand.  We can get through this together.” 

Offense

Offense is something that just wants to continue plaguing me.  Every time I turn around someone has offended me and that’s really frustrating to me.  Being a recovering co-dependant I have begun to recognize the signs of old, destructive behaviors and I try to use the tools I’ve learned in the 12 Steps to apply positive behaviors instead.  Oh, how hard that is sometimes! 

My church is taking a path that I am not in agreement with.  They’ve started this big campaign to raise funds for building a larger sanctuary and yet I firmly believe the space we have is plenty given the fact that the sermons are taped and played on big screens in two huge sancturaries already, with only three chances per week to worship.  Why not add services?  The pastor wouldn’t even have to be there for all of them.  Why spend money to have our church on TV when that money could be spent on the building project?  We are a very rich church and personally, I’m not seeing the necessity of this whole campaign which is costing a fortune in it’s own right.  And so, I am offended. 

How should I react to this?  My old behaviors would have been to try to control.  Even though I have no say so in the direction of this huge church I could have at least worked on my friends to try to control how they would feel.  And then there is gossip.  I am quite good at gossip and it comes as natural as breathing when I’m angry.  No, I will choose a different route this time. 

I recognize that my church is a good, bible based church.  I believe the Holy Spirit led me there and has taught me much as a result.  I also recognize that I am a child of God, not a child of my church.  So, it is ok if I don’t agree with something they are doing.  God is big enough to be glorified in all things and to deal with all things as He sees fit. 

Looking at it from this perspective changes so much.  It’s not for me to decide what direction my church goes.  It’s up to me to continue to follow Christ wherever He leads me and leave the rest to Him.  I’m ok with that. 

I may be looking for another church though.  Not so much because of being offended but more so because I want to worship with people who know me.  My church is so large that I can come and go and not one person would miss me.  I sit there in the midst of thousands of believers and I know only a handful and rarely am I able to sit with friends as we go to different services and in different sanctuaries.  That makes me feel very lonely.  It just may be that it’s time for me to go and find a more intimate church.  I’ll go where the Spirit leads. 

Adam and Eve’s Salvation

 Adam and Eve must have felt so horrible when God cast them out of their perfect home.  Think of it, they had it all.  They had complete peace, complete happiness.  They had direct relationship with God Himself.  Their home was beautiful beyond anything you or I could ever dream or imagine.  But they made a wrong choice and they sinned.  God casting them out of the garden was not only the consequences for their actions but it was also Him working something that was meant to destroy them for their good. 

  I’m sure they were devastated to lose their home and all they had enjoyed for so long.  I’m sure they went through a time of mourning and certainly they must have gone through a time of beating themselves up for what they had done.  But did they see the mercy?  Did they see what God was working for their good in all of that?  Probably not.  Nobody sees it when they are in the pain of going through it.  But after a while I’m sure their pain began to ease as God continued to love them in spite of their anger at themselves for what they had done.  And after a while, I wonder, did that pain go away?  Did they see the grace of God in His judgment to send them out of the garden into this barren world?  Did they ever see, did they ever fully understand that the reason they had to be cast out was so important?  Did they ever glimpse the implications of what would have happened had God allowed them to stay and have access to the tree of life?  Did they ever realize that if they had eaten from the tree of life they would never have died?  And if they, knowing not only good but evil as well, were to live forever in the flesh, they would be imprisoned, in chains to a world of pain, on this earth, never to be allowed to enter the Kingdom of Heaven…never to rest in the arms of Jesus…never to know what living without pain would be like, for all of eternity.   

So, in sending them out of the garden, God saved them.  And you know what?  He’s still sending his people out to save them.  God loved Adam and Eve beyond measure.  They were the first born, the only two people created by the very hand of God, not out of the natural order of all God has created life to be.   They were perfection to Him.  And yet, when they sinned, He loved them still.  He loved them so deeply He could not allow them to spend eternity separated from Him.  He provided them with a way back to Him.   

Looking at the story of Adam and Eve from this angle, can you relate? 

Lacking motivation

Every morning, get up, get kids off to school, check e-mails and forums, watch the news, drink coffee….bla bla bla.  Same old thing.  I can’t wait for Spring break so I can do a little sleeping in.  Of course, sleeping in is only until around 7 but if I’m lucky I’ll sleep a little longer. 

There is so much to do, so much I want to do, so much I need to do, but motivation is a problem.  Sometimes I wonder if I’m depressed but my lack of motivation seems to be sporadic, not every day.  Weather can have a lot to do with it too. 

I’m sure I’ll feel better once the caffeine kicks in. 

Hello world!

This is my first entry in my new blog.  I’m not sure I’ll be one to keep it up but hey, it can’t hurt to try, right?