Isn’t it amazing?  To think of the huge expanse of time, when it began, how long it’s been, and how many people from then to here; not one fingerprint of the millions and trillions of people who have existed from the beginning until now is the same.  DNA is not the same.  Personalities, looks, likes, dislikes, nothing about each person is the same. 

I’ve had the generous opportunity in the past six months to consider upon this fact.  I’ve been in a position to experience the personalities of many different people in one type of setting.  Some are bold, some are shy, some are kind, some are rude, some are self-serving, and some put everyone else first.  Some fit in, and some don’t.  Whatever their general human makeup, they are completely different individuals and yet, completely the same in that they all have the basic human needs. 

So, we all need water, food, shelter, and clothing.  Of course.  But what lies underneath is what makes us all the same.  What makes every human the same is the basic human needs of love, social acceptance, friendship, interaction, and validation.  Do we all get these?  No.

There is a Christian commandment that says we are to love the unlovely.  Clearly, not everyone is lovely.  Some people are downright annoying.  What lies beneath the unloveliness?  Are we supposed to try to take a look and find out?  If we knew the answer would it make a difference?  I’d like to think so. 

But what about those who have decided they will not comply because they shouldn’t have to be loveable to be loved?  Well, I could be wrong but my thoughts are as such…….Those who choose to buck the system and push back with annoying behavior that would make even the most patient of angels skin crawl, are acting out in pain.  They’ve not had someone reach out in friendship or love to them.  They’ve been hurt so much they are sick and tired of trying.  Often, because of this, they turn into unforgiving, mean, people. 

So what would happen if someone was brave enough to give one of these unfortunate ones a chance?  Would it be worth the while or would the extended hand be drawn back a bloody stump? 

I’ve drawn back a few bloody stumps in lifetime and they’ve been quite painful.  I’ve determined on many occasions never to extend a hand again.  Before I know it, my hand is out there again.  Why do I put myself through this kind of torture?  Because there is not one human life on this planet that is not worth reaching out to.  One man proved it years ago as he hung with outstretched hands, offering his love and friendship to a crowd of people who spat on him.  He held back nothing.  Neither should I. 

God is providing.  The 12 Step group is coming along nicely.  I met a lovely woman recently who showed interest in helping with the group as she has some experience in social work and support groups.  She is motivated to move forward to healing for her own life and so she will join the group and work her steps first.  I’m amazed at the ministry opportunities that God has provided through The Game Plan.  Paul has a lot on his plate with the boys.  The kids seem to look up to him and he fits in with them so well.  He doesn’t look at it like a ministry because he just isn’t wired that way but he does look at it as an opportunity to have a positive influence in their lives.  And for anyone who really knows Paul, they will know that he certainly is a positive influence.  He is a man of integrity, honesty, and hard work.  He is a family man who knows what is important.  If any of this does not rub off on the kids it will be a conflict of the way life works!  And I have found that the mothers of the kids, and the girls who come to play, (yes, there are women who enjoy these TCG’s, ) are often in need of someone to talk to.  I have offered the 12 Step group to them and offered my shoulder when they just need to be heard.  Though it’s an odd place for God to show up and the general Church population would think God would never set foot at a gaming store, clearly, He has surprised us all as is His usual way.  God is in the house!  Hallelujah! 

I got busy yesterday and e-mailed the local free paper with the dates and times of the 12 step group to put in the community calendar section.  I didn’t expect a response and wasn’t sure it would work but they replied asking for a few more details.  So, God willing, this will help a lot of people. 

I also put an announcement in the community section of our website so that parents of the kids who frequent the shop can see. 

To God be the glory! 

Here is the question…

The 12 Step Spiritual Journey group that I am an apprentice leader for, is about to disband for two months.  The reason is that our two co-leaders are burned out.  They’ve been leading this group for years and they need a break.  It is a hard group to lead as there are hurt feelings, raw feelings, and women who are struggling to become emotionally healthy.  It does take a toll on a person.  So, the co-leaders spoke with the leader over all small groups at our church and they decided to take two months off, re-evaluate what the group should be, and then come back together in August. 

I am worried that this would be a very bad thing for some of the women in our group.  Lately there have not been as many women attending the group but summer schedules do tend to get in the way.  But for those women who are really moving forward, I’d hate for them to hit a brick wall.  One thing that we work on in our group is getting past our feelings of rejection and this could seem the same as rejectcion for them. 

I’m thinking of asking if I could carry on the group during this 2 month hiatus so that there is still an oasis for these hurting women. 

I sure wouldn’t mind if anyone who reads this would pray that if this is to be, God would make the way. 

Life is not always peachy.  Pain and suffering are all around all the time and all too often they enter our own little circles.  All too often they come from no where and completely devastate our lives.  Suddenly everything is upside down.  Our prayers for help seem to hit the ceiling and rain back down to the floor.  We’ve heard, “draw near to God and He will draw near to you,” but God coudn’t seem farther away if He tried.  What then?  How do we make a hole in the ceiling so our prayers can get through?  How can we get out of this never ending cycle of pain and suffering? 

Something that I have been learning is that drawing closer to God is not necessarily what the world or even Christians, tell us it is.  Some say pray more.  Some say to take walks in the park and enjoy Gods creation.  We all tend to believe that being near to God is based on a feeling sort of like the warm fuzzy you get from seeing a brand new baby or a cute little puppy.  I’m sure it is some times but more often than not, it’s a “knowing,” not a “feeling.” 

As I’ve gone through this time of life crashing around me like broken glass I’ve found that feelings are deceptive.  I have been feeling useless, unloved, unappreciated, no good, sad, angry, and, well, you get the picture.  I new that I needed to draw closer to God because if anyone was capable of healing my damaged emotions it was Him.  But I lack discipline so setting aside a particular time for prayer in my day is about as futile as trying to hold on to a June-bug.  I do pray daily but my best prayer time is in the car while I’m driving and I certainly don’t have to drive every single day so prayer time at home can be quite sporadic.  But I digress.  I decided to do some ‘determined’ reading in my Bible as opposed to the haphazard reading to which I’ve become accustomed.  Determined meant that I would read with a purpose and actually learn from it rather that just know what the words said. 

Jeremiah has been my determined book of choice.  I’m in Chapter 13 and I’ve really been amazed.  I have read it before but honestly, because I had no real determination to learn from it, I was completely bored with it.  I also had a distorted view of God because of my lack of understanding.  If you’ve read Jeremiah, especially the first few chapters, you might have noticed that God was quite angry.  And if you read them like I did, He was not a nice person to be around back in the Old Testament.  He’d just as soon kill you as look at you.  Or so I thought. 

Actually, the Old Testament God I’m seeing now is not the mean and hateful God I saw before.  By no means!  I’m seeing Him now, for the first time, as the loving and merciful God He’s always been.  He literally pleaded with the House of Israel and the House of Judah to return to Him before unleashing His wrath on them.  They refused to listen.  He even said He would not send His wrath if they would just repent and serve Him and they would have the land of milk and honey that He promised their forefathers.  Still they wouldn’t listen.  Even though they forced His hand, He still made a way for them to come back home and follow Him when their consequences were over. 

I’ve learned that drawing closer to God, for me lately, is not so much feeling closer to Him through prayer, it is opening my Bible and reading about Him and understanding Him through it.  Just like reading any book you can get swept away into the story and forget about your own troubles as you read the adventures and misadventures of others.  And if you read with the purpose of getting to know this God even better, you can rest assured that you will draw nearer to Him and as He reveals Himself to you through the scriptures, He will draw nearer to you. 

Having been really contemplating the book of Jeremiah, understanding that the reason for Jeremiah’s prophecy’s were to warn Israel and Judah of the coming judgment at the hands of the Persian empire, I’ve come upon some interesting thoughts. 

1. It seems the God I understood to be an angry and mean God from the old Testament was not mean at all.  Like a mother does to her child, God gave ample warning to His children.  Where we say, “if you don’t clean your room and refuse to obey me you will be spanked and sent to your room,”  God was saying, “if you don’t clean up your act and obey me you will be ’spanked’ and taken from your warm homes!”  God gave them a chance.  He offered them a way out.  He practically begged them to listen.  But they wouldn’t. 

2. Had Israel heeded the warnings of Jeremiah, repented and turned back to God,  they would have lived prosperously, comfortably, and very, very, happily.  All through the first 10 chapters of Jeremiah, God tells His people over and over again that complete and utter pain and destruction would come to them if they did not repent but He also spoke of the sweetness of how life would be if they did repent. 

So, this left me really thinking.  How then, if I’ve repented, done all I’m supposed to do, (that I know of anyway,) why is it that bad things still happen to me?  God loves me.  Jesus is my Lord and Savior.  I try to be a good Christian.  Hmmmmmmmmm.

The answer seems to be this.  When God warned Israel, He was warning an entire nation of people.  If they had repented they would have been serving no other God besides the One True God.  As a people, they would not have allowed sin to enter the walls of Jerusalem.  I am but one person in a world that is fallen.  The outside influences of the world come into my home on a daily basis.  I have contact with people who are not Christians.  I am a Christian living in the world. 

Is that a bad thing?  Oh, by no means!  It is not a bad thing!  What it means is that I am subject to the same things every person in the world is subject to.  The difference is, I have hope.  When things get bad, I always have hope because I can trust that God, who is bigger than me and all my “issues” can take care of me through it and bring me to the other side of my troubles, better, and stronger, than I was before. 

These are the ponderings of my heart today.

If there is anything I’ve learned about Christians is that we are subject to the same things everyone else is.  I have a pet peeve.  I absolutely can’t stand it when I hear the words, “so and so says they’re a Christian but…………”  Talk about wrong judgments!  Just because a person is a Christian does not mean they won’t still act un-Christian-like from time to time.  And who’s perfect enough to place themselves as judge of what a Christian should act like anyway? 

That bumper sticker that says “God aint through with me yet,” is certainly something to think about.  It takes time to go from being a sinner to being a saint.  Old habits die hard.  It is not the norm for a person to recieve Christ and suddenly change their old ways.  Those that do tend to swing wide in the opposite direction and then feel like a failure when they can’t stop the swing back to where they were before salvation.  It’s a harsh roller coaster ride. 

Be patient when you see people who claim to be Christian act un-Christian.  God aint through with them yet either. 

Ever wonder, the more you read the Bible and understand it, the smaller it seems?  When I was little my father promised me that if I read the Bible from cover to cover he’d give me $10.  (Maybe I should change this topic to ,”Ever wonder how the older you get the smaller $10 seems?”  heheheheheh) 

Anyway, the Bible has always been this huge, daunting, book that it seemed impossible to get through!  It just doesn’t seem like that anymore.

I did Beth Moores, Daniel study and it blew me away!  Not only did I learn and understand the book of Daniel but I learned history too!  I was amazed to learn about the Persian Empire and all that stuff!  So now, when I read, I see so much of that same story unfolding.  This morning I was reading in Jeremiah and what do you think it was talking about?  Jeremiah’s prophecy of the Babylonians conquering Israel and Israels return!  Maybe this stuff is boring to some but to me it’s exciting!  This didn’t just happen in the Bible.  This happened in real life!  This is what you find in regular old history books! 

Aint that cool? 

These past few weeks have been a snowball effect of bad stuff.  I had a minor little hurt feeling over something one of the cub-scout leaders said a month or so ago.  It wasn’t anything to intentionally hurt me at all but it left me feeling like I was just a girl trying to pretend I was in charge of this pack when actually, the men are.  From there it seemed everything started spiralling down hill.  I began to feel I was no good for anything to anyone. 

I was able to explain to my husband that I felt this way to him and we worked through that.  But, like Shreks philosophy, like onions, there were layers….many layers.  My children seemed to not appreciate my efforts towards them and I was just the village idiot to them.  My small group family also seemed to be getting in on the act when I led group a couple weeks ago.  People complained that I was arrogant and sarcastic.  But of course, they didn’t tell me face to face, they went to the leader of our group and told her in the strictest of confidence.  I got the message but now I get to face these women every week and never know who I offended which is very unpleasant. 

Then there is, of course, the worries that the business my husband and I are starting up is a controversial thing.  It is a trading card game business and I know the teachings of my particular church are such that these are evil.  So I’ve been dealing with the possibilities, or fears, of being asked to leave the church or being asked to step down from leadership. 

So, I could not get out of the pit.  I spoke openly and honestly with my small group leader about all of this and she told me she would fast and pray for me for a day.  Well, I had not thought of doing that for myself.  So I decided to fast and pray for 3 days after having read in the book of Esther and how she called a three day fast.  I’ve fasted before but never really felt led to do it.  This time I really believe I was being led by the Holy Spirit. 

My experience was not some miraculous, all my troubles are completely gone thing.  It was more of a heightened awareness of Gods presence in my life and a lifting of my spirit so that I was not feeling depressed or oppressed anymore.  What ever happens next is nothing that my God can’t handle. 

I wonder what experiences with fasting others have had.  If you read this and you’ve fasted before, would you care to share your story? 

I’ve been in such a funk these past two weeks. The whole time I’ve known what was necessary for me to do but I’ve neglected it.  I allow every little distraction to keep me from spending quality time in prayer and in the Word.  If I find myself with time on my hands and know that I should spend that time with God I will create a distraction…any reason why now would not be a good time to spend time.  I’m kind of an all or nothing type when it comes to my spiritual life.  So, when given the choice, I tend to choose nothing.  Ooh, I hate having to be honest about this. 

However, I went to bible study yesterday morning and though I spent a lot of the time being offended about other things, my heart kept crying out to God, asking for Him to give me an open mind and open heart.  The lesson was actually just the pastors mother giving her testimonies of how the Holy Spirit has moved in her life over and over again.  It is always good to hear testimonies.  But one thing she spoke is that it is imperative to spend time in His presence, praying, and seeking.  If we don’t, we will find ourselves in a desert.  That was for me I’m sure.  So simple and yet so complicated all at the same time. 

I took the time this morning.  I didn’t create a distraction by assuming that my daughter would interrupt me in the middle of my prayer time.  I gave her her breakfast and then I went in to the living room, got down on my knees, and prayed.  I was amazed at how freely everything came out of me.  When I had no more words to speak, I sat there quietly in His presence and waited for Him to speak into my heart.  Sure enough, He did.  I was reminded of how Jesus went to be alone with God often.  It was to renew His own spirit; find comfort in the presence of His Father.  What an awesome lesson to learn.  God is so good.