Feelings

I am an absolute plethora of feelings lately.  My entire past has decided to come back and bite me in the butt.  However, it’s not a bad thing.  It’s just a strange thing.  And I’m sure, a God thing. 

I keep feeling like I want to write it all out but when I begin, it seems words don’t come.  This is sort of like being in limbo between the past and the present.  Two different lives.  I would never choose to go back.  I feel a bit like Lots wife.  She couldn’t stop herself from looking back at the life she was leaving behind.  For her it ended tragically in a pillar of salt.  For me, it’s not so cut and dry.  There are regrets and there are feelings of gratefulness.  Had I not gone through all I did I would not be who I am today.  I would not have the strength I do now.  I would not have the life I have now.  I would not have the understanding and loving husband I have now.  I would not have my Simon or Arimi.  Who I was, what I went through, was only the pathway to where I am.    No regrets for that.  None whatsoever. 

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2 responses to “Feelings

  1. I’m so proud of you, Barb. I’ve been able to see real growth in you over these past few years that we’ve known each other. To be able to look back over ones life and regret the decisions made but realize that it is those very decisions that have made you who you are take maturity and growth w/the Holy Spirit.

    Keep on growing, Barb. 🙂

  2. Thank you Elaine. It feels good to have positive feedback.

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