This could be a long one

Where do I start?  So much going on. 

First of all, more and more, it seems we will have to close our store.  We aren’t making enough to pay rent.  We’d be fine if we didn’t have rent and so that is why Paul is considering moving the venue to our home…after he has the garage repaired.  I am not in love with this idea as parking could be a bear, we’re not zoned for anything like this, and I can’t see the neighbors enjoying the noise it could bring.  But Paul always has a way of doing things and having them work out even in the face of my fears.  So I am quietly praying it doesn’t come to that and that we are able to get on our feet and remain where we are. 

Nick, my delayed entry Marine, is working hard to not be a Marine.  He doesn’t understand the commitment he’s made completely.  He’s been so good about not doing any drugs, not drinking, and keeping his nose clean in that way.  However, though he looks like an athletic type, he can’t keep up in training.  He’s struggling physically.  Just as he heard rumors that the recruiting office was betting against him making it to ship-out date, he conveniently has a knee issue.  It’s tendonitis but according to Nick, he most likely will have to have surgery and be kicked out of the Marines.  According to the doctors, he most likely will have to just be on crutches for a couple weeks and then be fine.  I believe Nick is trying to find an out to his contract without anyone being able to say it was him giving up.  If he would just work out more than that one time a week at the recruiting office he’d be up to speed.  I have a treadmill, 10 lbs dumbells, and lots of space for him to work out.  He refuses to use the treadmill longer than 3 minutes at a time because it makes him feel dizzy when he gets off.  He refuses to use the dumbells because they aren’t heavy enough to do any good!  The boy is stubborn as they come and blames everything and everyone else for his lack of doing what must be done!  He came home from school on Monday starving because he hadn’t eaten anything at school.  I asked him why and it was the schools fault, mixed with his crutches.  You see, he can’t carry his lunch tray and he can’t have someone else go get his lunch for him because he’ll get in trouble if someone else uses his lunch ticket!  So, he can’t go through the line with a friend?  He had a project due on Monday that would make up half his grade for the six weeks.  He simply didn’t do it because he can’t carry his stuff around while he’s on crutches and the teacher doesn’t care.  Was he on crutches when it was assigned a couple weeks ago?  No! 

Then there is Simon.  God I have no idea what to do but I’m smart enough to know that something has to be done.  He scored in the way above averages on his TCAP tests last year and every year.  So why is he failing?  Because he has no concept of organization, working on homework during the time the teachers give in class, writing down assignments in his agenda, or even asserting himself enough to be able to reach his locker while the kid in the locker above him is in the way!  He’s got three teachers this year and only one of them recognizes that he’s brilliant but needs some kind of help.  The others just role their eyes and insist he just doesn’t do the work for no reason other than….maybe he’s ADD and we should have him tested.  So how do we test for that?  Well, we spend the co-pay at the doctors office to have the doctor give questionaires to be passed out among Simons teachers so together, they can all answer these questions on the assumption that Simon is already ADD and so they are literally the ones who determine if he’s got a problem or not.  I dont’ think so! 

Meanwhile, the one good teacher he has is well aware of Simons genious and mentioned that if ever there was a child who is gifted, it’s Simon, but they can’t put him in Spectrum because he coudln’t handle the speed of the class because he’s so slow and methodical and unorganized! 

Is there any help for this child out there?  He’s had TV, Computer, trading card games, video games, socializing with friends, and MP3 player, all taken from him until we see a significant improvement.  He’s getting $10 a week allowance and has to pay me back $1 for every missed assignment.  Basically, he’s giving his entire allowance back to me at the end of the week.  He seems to have no motivation to change or maybe it’s not a motivation problem.  Maybe its an ability problem.  I’ve tutored him over and over again on what to do, how to take notes, how to be organized.  Nothing helps because he always goes back to his old ways which is no way and then tells me he found a better way! 

I think I’ll get a meeting with the assistant principle at his school and see if she can help keep Simon from falling through the cracks.  His grades last year were so bad but they pushed him through to sixth grade this year because of his TCAP scores. I’ve no doubt they will just continue to push him through and never teach him how to preform as a student should. 

I’m so sick of dealing with this!

And so, I am painfully aware now of what exactly God was talking about when He said He’d always be there.  I may be sick of dealing with all this but I have hope because my God can handle anything.  I can’t imagine not knowing Him and not having any kind of hope that all this will work out according to what is best for all of us.  How do people live that way? 

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3 responses to “This could be a long one

  1. Hi Barb,
    This article has some good advice, perhaps it will inspire your boys.
    http://www.bobparsons.com/My16Rules2006.html

  2. Oh, Barb
    I just wish I could be there in person to give you a (((((BIG HUG)))))

  3. Thanks for the article Donna…and for the hugs Elaine. Ya’ll are the best.
    Update on Simon….
    I called the vice-principle yesterday and explained our dilema. She was very sweet. As far as the lockers go, she said she had understood the rules to be that the upper locker kids go to their lockers at a different time than the lower locker kids so that no one gets hurt with books falling on heads and such. She’d look into it.
    This morning I asked Simon about the locker situation and he told me that they didn’t start going at seperate times until after lunch which was around the time that I spoke with the vice-principle.
    As far as Simons inability to be able to organize and get assignments done, she said she’d personally work with him as well as get the inschool detention teacher to help as she is very good at teaching children how to organize. She understood that we don’t want to label Simon with ADD or any other learning disorder. He doesn’t have a learning disorder, he knows the material, he just isn’t really finding it important enough to organize and make sure he gets it all done. Which, by the way, dh discovered last night that Simon is actually getting homework assignments done, he’s just not putting them in a place where he can find them when it’s time to turn them in. I bought dividers for his binder with pockets, specifically so that he could place homework assignments in them in the proper places so he could find them. He simply has not implemented that plan and so homework goes wherever, in some book, or on the kitchen table, or on his bedroom floor.
    One teacher is going to work with him in class so that, from what I understand, he won’t have homework in her class. He’ll do the work in class and keep it all in a binder there.

    I also spoke with my special-ed teacher friend who advised me of a legal thing called 504 or something. We could apply for it and force the school to legally do all that is necessary to help Simon even if it’s as little a thing as making sure he has an upper locker. But she said she couldn’t remember the entire process and it could be lengthy and possibly require he be failing across the board.

    As far as everything else….I’m praying. God keeps sending new people to the 12 step group that I run now on Tuesday nights in our building. I can’t see that it’s time to stop any time soon.

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